Why Cheat

Candy said it best, "everybody cheats, but you got to know how, you got to when, and you got to know why."  The real question is what's the point? If that person does not satisfy your every needs, why is it so hard to tell them that it is over. Life would be so much easier and maybe a lot more peaceful if people were honest with themselves.

I took a poll at my work place, and beside the controversy I stirred up I was able to come up with three reasons why men and women cheat.

                   3. Lack of Sex

So, apparently if you're not putting out your partner will be looking elsewhere. Intercourse is a big part in a relationship, marriage, fling... Whatever your preference hopefully, it comes with a very healthy sex drive to keep your partner happy and monogamous.

                   2. Jealously

Everyone can't handle the male friends and the late night phone calls.  When jealously enters the relationship, it's not a pretty color on anyone. If you can't handle your significant others past, present, and what his future might hold, maybe you should be more selective. Jealously should never be a factor in a relationship unless, you're insecure and that's a problem that should be addressed before you make a commitment to someone.

                   1. Neglect

 Change is only good for better. If you use to do something you can't just stop. You can't forget to tell them that you love them, or give them a kiss goodnight. I know if my man forgot about me, I might not remember him when put under pressure by an attractive young man (smile).

According to my co workers these are the main reasons they would cheat on their partners. 2 particular comment I found very interesting was by a man who said, “If I don't think I'm going to marry her I'm going to cheat on her" and by a women, “if I see a naked picture in his phone I'm cheating."  To everyone out there choose your partners wisely, because you never know what you might get.

"Think Like A Man"

 So everyone has been ranting about the new movie "Think like a Man." Personally, I don't want to think like a man I'd rather be surprised by what our men have to offer (smile). For all you women who do, Kudos.

The movie is definitely a guideline on how to treat different type of men like, the mommas boy or the "thug" lol, but I feel the most controversial topic was the 90 day rule. I have asked peoples opinions on the rule and most people think you should not put limits on when you have sex with a person. The funniest comment to me was from one of my best friends and she said, "You have to test drive it before you buy it." Although, that's just her opinion, I know many women think the same way. I hope this movie does not have women all over the world acting up and changing who they are to fit this criteria of what one man said, all men want in a women.

My advice to all women is, a man is going to be who he is regardless what you do or how long you hold out so, rule number 1 be yourself!!!!

Love of My Life

   When I'm sad, she makes me laugh and when I need someone to talk too, she is there, although she does not always understand me, I commend her for trying. She gives  me the strength to keep going and there are often times when I feel like giving up. It's amazing how something so small had such a huge impact on my life. The only pain she ever caused me was getting her here, and that was the best pain I've ever endured. When I held her for the first time I immediately fell in love and when I put her down she cried, I knew she loved me too. I can't wait to see what she grows up to be, I always wonder if she would be exactly like me. I love her and she love me unconditionally. She is my Dakota Jolie ❤

"Bye Love"

I know you think about me

Cause I think about you

The feelings have to be mutual

Cause my feelings were true

Remember in the morning when you told me how I use to hold you,

I can't even recall, but that's how I know my soul loved you I put my all into you and I love you maybe a little to much cause I still feel you

I try to block it all out, but I still need you

Just tell me that you love me cause I still want you more than anything.

It's like I need to let it all go

Can't look at the pictures long enough to let it all go

I want to throw it away, but my heart won't go

To another place no matter what it shows off to be.

          What I think about the most

 Is how we use to laugh about I don't even know, but it was really funny I guess, how you held me close and tried to tell me a secret, it was just the two of us. I may never get over my Love, 

Even though my heart hurts you should now this my love

Might never stop flowing, an ocean of love

My life I'll keep a float, won't drown in my love

Married for Fun

   The divorce rate in America is over 40 percent, that’s a lot. What ever happen to, till death do us part? People are not dating anymore. They are infatuated with the exterior of a person and jumping the broom before love has an opportunity to set in. It’s like buying a pair of shoes without trying them on; when you get home they don’t fit, they were on sale and you can’t return them. Now, you’re stuck with a pair of shoes that do not fit you. So, what do you do? Get rid of them.

  People all around the world talked about Kim Kardashian’s wedding; 72 days later, the world make a joke about her divorce. All over Twitter millions of people made a mockery of her marriage being shorter than a trending topic. Jennifer Lopez has been married and divorced 3 times. After every relationship, the world’s question was who is next? Recently, the infamous Will and Jada Pinkett Smith got a divorce. After 14 years of marriage, who would have thought their love would have diminished. The media has led people to believe the duo being swingers has dampened their relationship, and they are tired of faking it.

  The significance of marriage has changed drastically. Years ago, when people made that vow to one another, they did it for life, not for right now. When they said, “I do,” they already accepted one another’s flaws, and appreciated that one made the other feel secure. That saying, “Why put off for tomorrow what you can accomplish today,” does not apply to everything, especially, not to matters of the heart.

Is Chivalry Dead?

Is today’s society the reason for the death of our chivalrous ways? Have men forgotten their values? Have women become so independent that their main focus is success and less family? I’ve conducted a survey asking 30 people from the ages 18-25, and 30 plus if they thought chivalry was dead. 17 of those people said chivalry was not dead, while the other 13 said it was. A select few said a woman’s independence, and the way a woman carries herself has catered to our loss of chivalry. While majority feel changes in society, such as music, television, and the lack of family up bringing has played a major role in the deterioration of our chivalrous ways; Surprisingly, 17 out of 30 people said chivalry was not dead. 12 of those 17 were between the ages of 18-25. They feel society is based more on equality, giving both sex the opportunity to show their appreciation for one another. So yes, she can pay for lunch today because tomorrow night he is cooking dinner. Based on my results chivalry is not dead, but at the same time it is very rare. From my surveys, I also concluded the older generation has very little faith in the values and respect being taught to our younger generations. Be mindful, this is a generation you helped to raise. So what do you think…? Is chivalry dead?

Samantha's Choice

     Samantha sat on the hospital bed the morning of March 15, 2007. She put her hand on her belly and fell the life she had already got accustomed to feeling the past three months. She shed a tear as she whispered, “sorry.”

Abortion has been one of the most controversial topics in America, next to gay marriage and divorce. Some people are against it for religious reasons, while others feel women should take care of their responsibilities and stop looking for the easy way out. No one has the right to choose who lives or dies, but what if your life is at risk? Can you choose to save yourself?

     At age 18, Samantha moved out of her parents’ house. She and her cousin got an apartment together, and shortly after, she met her boyfriend. Seven years older than Samantha and very established, he showed her a life she wasn’t used to. Showering her with gifts and taking her to five star restaurants became the routine. It didn’t take long for Samantha to be blinded, and two months before her lease was up, she moved out of her apartment and in with her boyfriend.  That’s when things started to change.  She said, “I would come home and he would accuse me of cheating.  He would look through my phone… It was almost like I was living with a stranger.” She explains how he would go out all night and when he would return home, he would take his aggressions out on her. 

     Five months after being together, Samantha was emotionally and physically scarred. She didn’t feel like anything worse could happen to her, until she never got her period. She said she felt “trapped like my world was coming to an end.  A year ago, I was graduating high school and hanging out with my friends… Now, I’m living with an abusive, controlling maniac, who won’t let me use the bathroom alone.” As the weeks went on and her pregnancy became more of a reality, Samantha knew she had to get away before he discovered she was carrying his child. The night before Samantha planned to leave, she said, “we got into a huge argument because I wouldn’t tell him who I was on the phone with. I remember him choking me and when I woke up he was gone. I packed and left too.”

     Samantha remembers her abortion every day, but she does not regret her decision. She said, “I feel like I have second chance. I could not imagine still being in that situation with a child.” She said, “he would have controlled me for the rest of my life. Now, I have a chance and a promising future.”  Samantha is back at home with her parents and attending college for Law. Reflecting on her past she said, “I feel bad to have taken a life, especially one that I created, but I feel if I didn’t, I wouldn’t be standing here today.” She says, “I am an advocate for young women in abusive relationships because I got away.”

     Women are killed every day in abusive relationships. The product (children) of those relationships usually suffers from the loss of one or both parents being gone. The women, who actually have the strength to leave, have nothing and are forced to start over, while living their lives in fear. Samantha made a choice that will burden her forever. I believe many women should make the same decision if their life depended on it

Success Starts with the Soul

     On July 2, 1981, Jarvis Taylor was born in Duke Medical Center. As a child, he always liked music, growing up his parents listened to artists like, Ray Charles, Al Greene and Stevie Wonder. This is where Jarvis said he, “developed his soul and rhythm,” he said, “as a little boy you could find me in the bathroom looking in the mirror with a brush in my hand, just putting words together… It was like me getting to know myself.”

     As Jarvis got older, his lyrical skills developed, and he would soon be known in his neighborhood as a lyrical beast. At only age 14, he had already made a name for himself in his hometown, Henderson, NC.  He said, “People in my neighborhood would ask me to rap and when I was finished they all looked astonished.” He said, “they couldn’t believe a young boy like me had so much talent and aggression.” He talks about how his aggression stemmed from seeing his family struggle. Two years prior, his mother had to stop working due to a severe case of epilepsy, leaving his father as the sole provider of a family of five. He admitted, “It got so bad we were wearing hand me down cloths and vacations were out of the question.” He said, “I just wanted more.“ He began hanging with a crowd whose forte was to get money by any means necessary. He said he would “rob, steal and write rhymes,” but that lifestyle was short lived.

     On Jan. 9, 1997 at age 15, Jarvis Taylor was arrested for robbing a convenience store. On May 5, 1997, he was convicted and sentenced to do 5 years in the Department of Corrections. He blurted, “I was so young I thought I would get a warning, a second chance, but when I was behind those bars I had to adjust to that lifestyle. It wasn’t until later after being around so many criminals I wanted to change.” He spent his years in prison writing and perfecting his style, and on May 5, 2001, Jarvis “Jay Real” Taylor the artist was home. He said, “I remember coming home and my father saying, “Jay you better get a job” I looked at my father and said Sir I want to make music…”

     Since then, Jarvis has attended barber school, and he enjoys cutting his two little boys hair. He is currently a student at St. Augustine’s College, where he studies theater and film, all the while never forgetting his original goals. In 2006, he was featured on North Carolina’s freestyle battle for four consecutive months. In 2007, he performed live at North Carolina Central University; in that same year, he participated in the BET freestyle battle and won. Over the past years, he has recorded numerous albums; performed album singles in many local and out of state clubs and is currently working on his ultimate goal in life.

     “Sick for Cash Music Group” is Jarvis’ most recent accomplishment. He is one of the original founders and owners of this latest record company. The company’s objective is to work as an umbrella company for up and coming artists wanting to start their own label. They will fund, promote and manage smaller labels seeking exposure. In the future, the company plans to be commercial, as is Def Jam and Universal Records, producing unique talented artists out of North and South Carolina.

     In life, “it’s so much competition, you have to be the best to get that spot, and I’m the best… I’ve pushed myself even when society turned their back on me, so I feel like I can already say I’m the best. When times get hard just focus on your dreams and aspirations, speak it into existence. I’m living proof you can prevail.” (Jarvis “Jay Real” Taylor)